I need money. That’s what I want. Money makes the world go round. Money Money Money. Show me the money. And so on.
Money has been around, in one form or another, for nigh on thousands of years. The Yen, the Euro, The Australian dollar, Vietnamese dong, the British Pound, the Turkish Lyra. Money indeed makes the world go round. What started out in ancient civilizations as bartering a sheep for, I don’t know, a wife, gradually evolved into the practice of using carved rocks, in some societies; sharks eggs, and gradually metal and gold as a tool for purchase, which laid the groundwork for modern commerce.
But who’s bright idea sparked the fire that lit the way for future generations? Ignoring the metaphoric imagery for a moment, I have often pondered this to great extent, usually when I am on the verge of bankruptcy because I’ve got no change to buy a Golden Gaytime at the petrol station and I have to spend my money on something boring, like fuel. As a young person, it is generally accepted, and generally true, that we shouldn’t have much, if any money.
I’ve come to this conclusion:
I work 9am till 5.30pm each day to receive my pay packet on a Monday so I can put fuel in the car which, coincidentally, I had to buy with my own money, so I can drive myself back to work to earn my pay for that week, so I can put fuel in the car which I had to buy with my money, so I can drive....Can you see where I’m going with this?
Here in Australia, we use plastic notes and ‘silver’ and ‘gold’ coins to buy what we want. Yet my lunch comes wrapped in bits of floppy plastic, and I’ve got some earrings at home which are made of metal, why can’t I take these into IGA and buy some two minute noodles? What makes these seemingly worthless objects so valuable and important in our world today? It’s not like money is made from proper gold; interestingly there’s only about 1% true gold in a $2 coin. We don’t trade for Rubies or Diamonds, and our notes aren’t made from real gold leaf. And I don’t always have useless little pearls rolling around as small change in my purse; rather it always rattles with the gentle clinking of all those 5cent pieces of change from my countless trips to Safeway.
I can’t just walk into my local Retrovision and purchase a new iPod touch with an antique 18th century chest of drawers from ye olde England which, coincidentally, would be worth much more than the iPod any day. But instead I am asked to produce from my wallet a few pieces of ridiculously coloured plastic reminiscent of Monopoly money to complete my purchase.
If you have a little bit of money, you’re poor. If you’ve got a lot of money, you’re rich, and thus you’re going to be greedy. You’re going to want more money, and you’re going to get it. Prison’s around the world are filled with countless criminals; murderers, gang men, hit men, drug dealer, thieves. What fuels these peoples actions? You don’t steal a 80inch television and a washing machine because it’s your Uncle’s birthday and you couldn’t think of what to get him and it would be a nice gesture. No, you steal something because you want it. You can’t keep it at home because if the Fuzz rock up you’re in a spot of bother, so what do you do? You sell it. Sell it for money. Am I making my point yet?
About 50% of what we do each day revolves around money. What you eat, what you wear, what you drive, where you’re going, how you get there, and what you’re going to do when you get there all depend on one constant around the world; money. Nothing comes for free. For instance, I go home every working day for lunch at my mother’s house, because it’s free. Yet in reality, it’s not really. Someone had to put the food in the fridge, it didn’t just appear there, unless my Mum is a closet kleptomaniac who steals from the fresh food people, which would explain it. But apart from that, someone had to pay for it. And they had to pay for it with our ridiculous bright Monopoly money. That’s how worthlessly valuable it is.Yet we stab people, rob banks, go on the dole, lie to Centerlink, inherit, win at Bingo, gamble it at the pokies to get more and occasionally go to work and earn our money.
Seriously, I could understand what the big fuss was about it we were trading for silver and sapphires, but we’re not. I liked the ancient way better; two goats for some granite stone to build your house with, or some fresh strawberries which I harvested myself for an oxen to pull the yoke to plant next seasons crop. Trading for goods with objects of equal value was much better. I’ve got this Canon computer printer that’s been used only once before sitting beside me on my desk. It still works fine, and there’s nothing wrong with it, I just don’t use it. What’s stopping me swapping this with Fred over there who’s got some dvd’s which he doesn’t want anymore, but which I’d love to watch? Abracadabra; I’ve solved my printer issue and got some new movies to boot. Excellent system. Enough of this ridiculous money business.
I tell you, if it was me in charge of this planet, I’d be making a few changes...after I’ve finished my Golden Gaytime.
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